Selasa, 15 Agustus 2017

What Women Can Teach Men About Fatherhood

As the father of a teenage daughter I'm beginning to worry about her becoming a young lady and in a few years starting to date.

Looking back I feel strongly that her mother and I did a good job teaching her right from wrong, keeping her focused on school, sports and other extracurricular activities and the family unit. We continue to encourage open conversation with us when something is on her mind.

I often ask myself how I, as a parent, can raise my daughter to have a strong sense of self and the solid decision-making skills she needs to navigate through the awkward trials and errors of life.

Parents work hard to positively influence the decisions their children make and the company they keep. Unfortunately, all we can really do is hope they apply the lessons and good judgment we impart. This doesn't keep me from worrying about my daughter. And oh, I forgot to mention that I have another daughter who is four years younger than her sister. If I wasn't bald my hair would certainly be gray.

I believe God brings people in our lives to be angels. Don't get spooked out; just bear with me for a minute -- I'm going somewhere with this.

Growing up, I followed my father's footsteps and learned a lot about life from the older barbers where I went to get a haircut. Once my hairline started receding I took the bald route and began to cut my own hair. Along with the loss of my hair, I lost the wisdom I'd been getting from the elderly barbers.

Fast forward 15 or so years, and I find myself sitting in a chair with another licensed professional working above my neck. This time, I'm in a dentist's office getting my teeth cleaned. While waiting for me to get numb, we make small talk and I learn that the hygienist is a single mother of three kids -- two of whom are teenaged girls. I ask her to share what I may be in store for as a father of two daughters and for a little advice.

She tells me to buy my daughter her first diamond. I give her the "What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?" look and asked her to elaborate. She says many women look forward to the day the man of their dreams shows up with a diamond and asks to marry her.

By this time, I can't talk, because Tru has started the deep cleaning process. My ears are wide open, though, and I motion for her to continue. She goes on to say that when a father gives his daughter her first diamond, she's no longer blinded by the sparkle of a man's diamond. Now, anyone who approaches her must come with substance.

I hope that what my daughters will desire is to know that they are appreciated, adored and that someone has their backs in good times as well as bad. If I do my job right, they'll know that the material things are just for show.

In November, I arrived ahead of schedule for a meeting and started talking to another early bird who happened to be the single mother of a 19-year-old girl. We talked about parenting and dating. I asked how she keeps her sanity while her daughter is away in college and what I can do to prepare for the inevitable. Ms. Brown advised me to take my daughter on a date.

I scratched my head a bit and asked for clarification. She said that a good father is his daughter's first boyfriend. She went on to suggest that I be conscious about displaying everything I know about being a gentleman when we go out. Open the door for her, make sure that I walk on the outside, etc. This way, she'll accept no less than what her father taught her about how a young man should conduct himself in the presence of a young lady.


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